Dearest baby,
Today you moved from my tummy to my heart. I miss you so
much. I feel so empty without you but I know that you are in a better place. I
will never forget your flips and kicks while trying to sleep.
It’s the little things that I’m going to miss. Being excited
to go to the OB to see your cute little face, hands, and legs. Your daddy and I
are going to set up a shadow box with your outfit, ultrasounds, and little camo
booties when we get back home to Houston. I can’t wait to set it up and write
you a letter saying how much I love you.
You will always be our baby moose. Our little man. You were
our love child who became our whole lives. I always thought I knew what love
was until I met your dad, but that love doesn’t hold a candle to the love I had
for you, my baby. I would get so protective when out and about. Always afraid
that somebody was going to bump into me too hard and I would have to slap them
or something. But of course that’s just motherly love, even though it seems a
bit extreme.
If there is any worry about how mommy did during surgery,
the doctors said I did very well. Daddy was nervous the whole time because he
couldn’t kiss me goodbye. Even though all I really did was sleep and wake up. But
when I did fully wake up daddy was there already holding my hand and all I remember
telling him that “I’m not a mommy anymore…” daddy just said “you will always be
a mommy to me.”
Grandpa was there. He was waiting patiently in the waiting
room reading his newspapers as usual, but helped me as much as possible when I came
out of recovery.
When daddy and I got back to the hotel we called grandma and
she started to cry. She just wanted to make sure that everything went ok and
that you didn’t go through any pain. She loves you so much, and was so
heartbroken when we found out you weren’t going to live. But you are in her
heart as well as all your parents’, grandparents’, and great-grandparents’.
And rest assured that we are all so excited to meet you one
day. Until then, we will hold you safe in our hearts, always and forever.
Mommy and Daddy love you little moose, XOXO
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