Friday, September 6, 2013

Letter #1 to Baby Tavin Jr.



My dearest baby,

Today you are 20 weeks and 5 days old. Your due date was January 29, 2014 but we were hoping that you would come earlier and bless our lives on the 25th instead. Sadly, it looks as if that dream is rapidly fading away. 

On September 5, 2013 your wonderful father and I found out that you will most likely not last in my womb long enough for me to hold you, and if you did, life out of the womb would end almost immediately. All I remember from what the doctors said was that when you first started growing in mommy’s tummy your poor kidneys did not develop. One did, but it is covered in little bumps called “cysts” and barely functions. What this means is that the food I provide for you does not convert and break down into waste or urine which is the fluid that you float around in. Because there is no fluid my mommy’s tummy your lungs did not develop properly and you are not able to breathe. With your lungs not developing your chances at life outside the womb are very little if not just completely gone. Right now the nutrients my tummy provides you is what is keeping you alive. Our doctor said that if you did carry all the way for me to give birth to you that you would pass away almost instantly, but if you did somehow start to breathe that they would take you into infant ICU and I would lose you there or you would be hooked up to tubes and machines for the first moments of your life, if not your whole life entirely. 

I am so sorry. I feel like I failed you as a mother and failed your father as a wife. We love you so much and always have. There is nothing that will ever change about that. From the moment I heart your first little heartbeats, mommy cried and fell in love with you. Daddy on the other hand, loved you from the first day, right from the start when that pregnancy test turned positive. Every day after that looked brighter. That we would be a little family, living happily ever after. There are days that I will never forget, just because they are the best days of my life:

1.      The day I heard your heat beat for the first time
2.      The day daddy heard your heart for the first time
3.      And the day we found out you were a little boy

Daddy wants you to know that no matter what, we love you, even if we don’t get to hold you in our arms we get to hold you in our hearts forever. Also, that if daddy and I have another little baby boy nobody will get your name. We have decided that you were so special to us that we would want nobody else to get the name that we gave you. 

I can’t begin to explain to you how much mommy and daddy love you. And if I had the choice, I would be the one to take that place in heaven, but right now you are so precious that god is not ready to give you up. 

I love you sweetheart. Always.

Love,
Mommy and daddy

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